love-life.

I'm trying to love life. But living life from day to day, it's hard to see whats to love.  My mom keeps asking about my love life.  Its funny we jump certain hurdles and call it an complete accomplishment without finishing the race, because I swear I came out to her in the summer of 06 but am finding it even harder to break her heart and dreams by telling her that I'm in love with a woman and have been for eight? months. 

I'm trying not to be a quitter.  Being a quitter on our own terms is so easy but when life takes it upon itself to cut your days short and ultimately and involuntarily proclaim you quitter status, its the worst in the world and one suddenly loves life.

That said...Its hard to keep working toward the unknown. To an unknown future.  Struggling and no knows not what their purpose, or intented paths in life may be.  So it appears that Im struggling for no reason for I havent found any light in my tunnel. 

Or Im just lazy like everybody says. But nobody feels how I feel. No one understands.  They look at a short history like my doctors do and perscribe bullshit aspirin.